Love changes everything about you.
Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. (1 Corinthians 13:4-7 ESV).
Instructions: Print this “Love is” (PDF Worksheet)
Continue on your journey….
A few years ago, Kathryn and I owned a beautiful SUV. It was truly a work of precision German engineering. It was the top of the line of ‘top-of-the-line’ SUVs containing all the ‘bells and whistles’ one could possibly imagine in a fine motor car. It was stunning and impressive. The darn thing was expensive. The warranty expired and we learned that maintenance was darn expensive as well. The ‘special’ run-flat tires could not be rotated. They had to be replaced (usually two at a time). The tires alone cost $650 each and had to be replaced about every 10,000-12,000 miles. Do the math. That’s $2600 per year in tires! As a special bonus, we had the privilege of replacing a cracked wheel at the low-low cost of $900. In one year, we spent over $3500 on tires and wheels. Oh yeah, did I tell you that it was beautiful, stunning and impressive? You can learn something from car tires.
Materialism requires maintenance
Here’s the lesson that you should take away from my foolishness. If you place any of your personal self-worth on the stuff you buy, get ready to spin your wheels and work your arse off to maintain it. I don’t care if you have millions or billions, if you place your ANY of your self-worth on the stuff you can accumulate in life, you will live in a cycle of maintenance. Take if from me, I’m a recovering materialist!
Everything we buy ends up in a trash heap somewhere. That expensive SUV we owned will eventually end up a rusted hunk of junk in a junk yard. That expensive home will eventually be torn down. All the stuff that we buy to impress others and/or make us feel better will eventually decay in some hole in the ground.
The material isn’t the problem, ‘Materialism’ is
Owning nice stuff is not the problem. The problem is when we tie our value to the stuff we own. When we love stuff and our capacity to attain more stuff more than we love God and people, we have exchanged that which is priceless for something with a price tag. Stuff can become an idol. Eventually, we run the risk of allowing that idol to rule over us and we eventually end up in bondage. The stuff owns us.
I’ve seen too many people end up with a pile of really expensive junk and massive bank accounts only to spend their last days completely alone in the pit of regret. They don’t even have anyone to share the regret with except those who they hire to maintain their stuff while they die alone.
You don’t have to get caught up in the nasty cycle of Materialism! Ponder this…
What is true wealth?
“Add up everything you have that money can’t buy and death can’t take away.” -Pastor A. Rogers
Explore these passages.
“For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evils. It is through this craving that some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pangs.” 1 Timothy 6:10
“Jesus said to them, “Render to Caesar the things that are Caesar’s, and to God the things that are God’s.”” Mark 12:17
“And Jesus, looking at him, loved him, and said to him, “You lack one thing: go, sell all that you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me.” Disheartened by the saying, he went away sorrowful, for he had great possessions.” Mark 10:21-22
It was a bloody conflict that dragged on for years. Both sides were entrenched in the mud and blood across Central Europe in a stale-mate. Between the trenches lay ‘no man’s land.’ When either side called their boys to charge, it was a death sentence. The charging soldiers who emerged from the safety of their trenches would be mowed down like fresh blades of grass by enemy machine-gun fire. From 1914 to 1918, 9 million soldiers and 7 million civilians died.
One cold winter’s night early in the war the guns fell silent. In late December 1914, young men emerged from the trenches and greeted each other. The Allies and Germans met in ‘no man’s land’ in an unofficial truce. It was a Christmas ceasefire where men of goodwill but of opposing politics and heritage met in the most dangerous place in the world at the time, ‘no man’s land.’
Conflicts and turmoil within families have killed any spirit of goodwill or peace among kin. Practically all joy has disappeared as hearts sink and tensions rise among family members. The wounds are so deep that many refuse to leave their trenches. They remain alone on Christmas. Others attempt to endure with family by showing up physically while their hearts remain in the trenches. As bitter winter winds sweep through our towns, bitter spirits chill hearts and the soul shivers from lack of warmth and love.
Having personally come from a complicated and conflicted family, Christmas was a time of the year I wanted to skip usually. Although the situation has been healed and I cherish Christmas today, I understand what many are going through.
In his moving book, ‘Silent Night’, Stanley Weintraub captures the story of the Christmas Truce during WWI. Enemies emerged from the cold, wet trenches to meet in ‘no man’s land’. They erected Christmas trees, played games, exchanged pleasantries and mementos. For a few short hours sworn enemies became men of goodwill.
The Christmas Truce of 1914 began with one man’s courage and goodwill. History does not record this man’s name but his action spread up and down the enemy lines in Europe. One man of goodwill, took one step into ‘no man’s land’ and changed everything.
Perhaps you are dreading the days ahead and coming into contact with family or friends who have become enemies over the years. Maybe the wounds run so deep, you can’t possibly bring yourself to be in the same room. The trenches have been dug and ‘no man’s land’ is so frightening, why even go there?
What would have to change in your own heart to suspend your thoughts about the enemy and meet him or her as if you did not know them at all? Treat them as if they were a friendly stranger who just wished you a Merry Christmas?
Pursuing Peace:
Peace begins in the heart and is acted upon through the will in one person. One person makes one bold move and others respond. It is not about building consensus. It is about having courage. Sowing the seeds of peace will reap a harvest and potentially change the trajectory of a relationship.
“Turn away from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it.” – Proverbs 34:14
A Peace Promise with yourself:
An old hymn points out that peace is seated in the will and heart of the individual.
“Let there be peace on earth
And let it begin with me.
Let there be peace on earth
The peace that was meant to be.
With God as our Father
Brothers all are we.
Let me walk with my brother
In perfect harmony.Let peace begin with me
Let this be the moment now.
With every step I take
Let this be my solemn vow….”
“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.” – Matthew 5:9
“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.” – John 14:27
In seeking peace with God, there is a blessing. In seeking peace with others there are more blessings.
Do you want to pursue peace?
The other day a friend casually ask me, “What are you thankful for this Thanksgiving?”
I was caught by surprise by the question. Not because I couldn’t think of anything to be thankful for but, I was struck by another question that emerged in my mind. I must have appeared dazed to my kindly questioner because their smile turned into a puzzled look.
As my mind was flooded with memories, I stood paralyzed in thought and completely overwhelmed. The words left my lips as I mumbled, “Where do I begin?”
Thanksgiving is tomorrow. If you are on Facebook or Twitter, you’ve already noticed Thanksgiving themed posts streaming from the news feeds. Thanksgiving is taking over! In the midst of the turkey, stuffing, Black Friday and football, I think I found the real question behind Thanksgiving.
The real question behind Thanksgiving is NOT, “What am I Thankful for?”
The real question is, “Where do I begin?”
From the breath in my lungs to the love of my family and friends, where do I begin?
Is it that moment on a cool fall day when my face is warmed by the sun?
Where do I begin?
Is it for that moment when I get home from a long day and the love within washes over me?
Is it when I awake before dawn and realize I’m alive?
Where do I begin?
Is it when a friend passes through my life one last time before leaving this life behind?
Is it wrestling with my children on the living room floor?
What about the food on the table?
Is it the healing in a life of someone I love?
Where do I begin?
Is it for the calling on my life where I glimpse all of its parts masterfully woven together?
Is it for a loving letter from my mother?
The embrace of my wife?
The laughter of my children?
The chase that is my life?
Where do I begin?
The same place I begin is the same place I end.
The grace of my Savior, my brother and friend.
Happy Thanksgiving!
When Kathryn and I were dating, her grandmother (lovingly called ‘Mom-mom’) began experience catastrophic health problems. She had a series of strokes and ended up in a full-time nursing facility. Kathryn’s parents visited her daily and cared for her needs. Kat and I would go visit her on occasion. It was tough for me because I did not have a close relationship with Mom-mom at the time.
It was while she was in assisted living center and later, nursing home that God created a beautiful doorway to enter into a relationship with Mom-mom. We got to know each other more and more as we visited. She spent many months in the home as her condition would deteriorate then improve, and deteriorate again.
On one occasion, Kat and her parents were all out of town at the same time. They asked me to check on Mom-mom while they were away. I remember that she was in bad shape, confined to a bed and surrounded by machines. So, I sat with her and talked to her as I held her frail hand in mine. We talked about Kathryn. I told Mom-mom how much I loved Kat. I made Mom-mom a promise that day. I promised her that I would take care of Kathryn no matter what happened. A few weeks later, sweet Mom-mom passed away.
Our daughter carries Mom-mom’s name, Lillian (Lilly). I still carry Mom-mom’s kindness and words of encouragement in my heart to this day.
What if God in his perfect wisdom creates doorways through suffering to bring people into authentic relationship?
Would this change your view of suffering?
It may be easier to recognize severe physical suffering. Perhaps you’ve had a family member who’s had a stroke and lost function of a section of their body? Or maybe you’ve seen the suffering that terminal cancer causes in a good friend?
“Be kind, everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about.” (Unknown)
Walk through an entire day and you will come into contact with many types of suffering. In many cases suffering goes unnoticed unless you are connected in intimate relationship with a person. Also, suffering can have many layers and faces.
Loneliness, loss and depression are forms of suffering.
Losing hope is the worst kind of suffering.
Maybe it’s worth exploring suffering with spiritual eyes to see that when all the stuff we strive for in life is at the bottom of a trash heap, the only thing of lasting value is relationship. Suffering is everywhere! So, there are doorways everywhere to step through into relationship. I encourage you to consider what your life would be like if you stepped through a doorway. People have stepped into my suffering when I needed to be loved and supported.
Share your thoughts below!
Has someone stepped into your life when you were suffering?
Maybe you have stepped though the doorway into someone’s life?
I realize that in order to read this post, you must be on a computer or smartphone. I hope that when you have finished reading it, you will put away the device and look up. Is there anyone in the room with you? What are they doing right now?
Maybe you are by yourself right now. What is your best friend doing right now? How about your mom or dad?
Watch this video (it’s 5 minutes long and won’t be a waste of you time):
I don’t usually spend long hours per day on Facebook but, I do find myself mindlessly scrolling the News Feed several times a day. Particularly at night before going to bed. How do I so easily drift into this state of feeding on the news feed? Then, the question hit me;
Is ‘feeding on Facebook’ beneficial? (more…)