by Lance Cashion | Aug 18, 2017 | Culture, Current Affairs, Leadership, Personal Growth, Wisdom
There is a lot of name-calling going on. People are sick of it.
The best way to get people tune you out is to start name-calling. Name-calling is neither helpful nor constructive. In fact, it’s destructive. There has never been an instance when calling someone a name has actually caused a positive outcome.
Seth Godin states, “The best reason to brand someone with a pejorative label is to push them away, to forestall useful conversation, to turn them into the other…. When we call someone misogynist or racist or sexist or a capitalist, a socialist or an abstract expressionist, what are we hoping for? Every one of us is on the ‘ist’ spectrum, so the label becomes meaningless. Meaningless labels are noise, noise that lasts.”
In addition to Seth Godin’s list, consider the names people hurl at each other: Libtard, racist, bigot, redneck, homophobe, etc…
By calling someone who disagrees with you a name, what are you trying to accomplish?
Try to think of any instance when employing the name-calling tactic has elevated or furthered a conversation or brought value or peace?
You cannot. Why is that?
The answer is… Because name-calling is a logical fallacy (Ad Hominem).
Ad hominem attacks can take the form of overtly attacking somebody, or more subtly casting doubt on their character or personal attributes as a way to discredit their argument. The result of an ad hom attack can be to undermine someone’s case without actually having to engage with it. (yourlogicalfallacyic.com)
Ad hominem (Latin for “to the man” or “to the person”), short for argumentum ad hominem, is in which an argument is rebutted by attacking the character, motive, or other attribute of the person making the argument, or persons associated with the argument, rather than attacking the substance of the argument itself. (Wikipedia)
Facebook and Twitter have provided platforms for people to throw nasty verbal jabs safely from behind a computer keyboard without having to engage directly with someone they disagree. It’s easier (safer) to type something than to actually say it in a face-to-face interaction.
We have established that Name-calling has accomplished zero and is counter-productive. It is a logical fallacy. It is a bunch of noise. There have been no great accomplishments by name-calling in history. The title of this post is just as ludicrous as name-calling itself.
One step solution?
STOP
by Lance Cashion | Nov 29, 2016 | Encouragement, God, Leadership, Personal Growth, Relationships, Uncategorized, Wisdom
Do you ever make a commitment to do something and don’t follow through?
Last week a good friend left town for a week with his family. I volunteered to check on their house and feed their fish. I didn’t have to volunteer but I did anyway to make my friend feel good about me. Essentially, I was trying to make myself look good in his eyes by appearing ‘helpful’. The days passed and I didn’t check on their house or feed the fish. Fortunately, the fish didn’t starve to death and his little children didn’t come home from Thanksgiving vacation to Mr. Fish floating belly up. That would have devastated the toddlers.
I had to admit to my good friend what I hadn’t done for him and his family. He forgave me (Thankfully). This may not seem like a big deal but it is because it reveals a larger problem.
It’s interesting how God can gently bring conviction into a heart. Over the last few days, I have had this growing sense of God’s gentle prompting of something I’m NOT doing.
As each day has passed, my attention has been moved toward an area of struggle in my life. It is something I have suffered my whole life. It is self-induced and I must take responsibility for what I am not doing.
Two days ago, an uncomfortable reality about my own nature was crystalized in my mind and my heart grew heavy.
I AM UNRELIABLE
I make promises and commitments I will not keep to people I care about and depend on me to follow through on my word.
This is a very unsettling situation for someone who ‘prides’ themselves on personal integrity. The key word is ‘pride’. I have made huge moral and relational blunders in my past. However, by God’s grace, I have made strides toward personal integrity and living a life that honors God.
My pride has blinded me to the fact that I am completely unreliable. When I don’t fulfill a commitment or keep a promise, that makes me a liar. I must own that fact. This is an integrity issue of monumental proportions! However, it is not ‘who’ I am. I can change. I feel I must change. But I can’t be relied upon to change myself or pull myself up by my proverbial ‘bootstraps.’ Because, remember I am unreliable.
What the heck do I do when I don’t do what I commit to do?
First, I have to admit my problem. I must admit it not only to myself but to others as well. Second, I must admit my need from help. Since, I’m unreliable, I can’t help myself. I must rely on someone else for help. That brings me to the next thing. I must ask the Lord to empower me to become reliable. After all, He is reliable. Next, I must make good on my current commitments and ask for forgiveness from those I’ve let down. Finally, I must ask my spouse and friends to help me and hold me accountable to my commitments.
Do you have any unfulfilled commitments?
Do you have any unkept promises?
Make a list right now. Pray and ask God for help. Enlist a couple close friends or family to hold you accountable.
by Lance Cashion | Nov 7, 2016 | Encouragement, Personal Growth, Relationships, Uncategorized, Wisdom |
Several years ago, I decided to do my first triathlon. It was a sprint distance course which is the shortest distance. For a rookie triathlete, a sprint may as well be an full Ironman.
For years, I had been a hard partier. I drank, smoked and partook in various extracurricular activities (ie. drugs). In high school, I was a varsity swimmer, I wrestled and played lacrosse. In my first two years of college I was an athlete, a swimmer. However, the party animal lifestyle is what I pursued.
Somewhere along the line, I stopped being an athlete and pursued being a party animal.
What happened?
I became what I pursued. We all do. Most the time were are unaware of the change until we look back and have an ‘ah ha’ moment.
Training for my first triathlon revealed the damage of my pursuit of partying. My lungs didn’t work properly, my swim sucked and I could not run more than a few miles.
After my first race, I realized something had changed. I had become a triathlete. Today, I enjoy longer races, like the half Ironman. I can run a marathon, swim two miles and bike 60+ miles if I want.
Finally, I was transformed from a broken-down partier to an athlete because I became what I was pursuing.
- If you want to be a good father or mother, you must intentionally pursue it.
- If you want to be a good spouse or friend, you must pursue it.
- If you want to know God, you must pursue him.
However, if you pursue worthless things, you will become worthless. If you pursue material things, you will become lifeless, just like material things.
In Jeremiah 2, Israel pursued lifeless idols of money, sex and power (Baal). All of it was worthless. They became worthless. Today, people pursue idols of self-gratification, self-deification, money, sex and power. Not much has changed.
What or who are you pursuing?
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by Lance Cashion | Jul 27, 2016 | Jesus Christ, Relationships, Theology, Uncategorized, Worldview
When someone says, ‘I’m a Christian’ the first thing I look for is evidence of love. Let’s talk about what we mean when we use the word ‘Love’.
‘Love’ is a blanket term describing a variety of things spanning from sexual love to commitment to pleasure in someone or something. I ‘love’ ice cream and I also ‘love’ my wife… What’s the difference?
In Greek, there are four words used to describe what we call ‘love’. I appreciate the Greek because the words are rich in meaning and contain dimensions our English word ‘love’ simply does not contain.
Love rendered in Greek… simply.
- Storge means the love or affection of family (parent and children)
- Philia means affection between friends or equals. Think brotherly love (Philadelphia is the City of Brotherly Love)
- Eros means sexual or romantic love. This is where we get the word, ‘erotic.’
‘Agape’ love is the highest form of love. Agape love is a sacrificial love and is an act of the will. Meaning, this love is a choice and has a cost. This love delights in its object and is sacrificial in its essence. Let me clarify. Agape love does not mean total acceptance of acceptance of bad behavior or choices. I can love you and absolutely disagree with you at the same time.
So how do we recognize ‘agape’ love?
Look for the sacrifice. Which means humility and an act of the will will be involved. It will be an abiding affection, delight and commitment by the one expressing it. The value I place on the object of my love is directly linked to what I’m willing to sacrifice. The higher the cost, the greater the love. How can I find delight in sacrificing ourselves? Great question!
Here is the hard part of understanding ‘agape’ love. Agape love must come from outside one’s self. Other affections are self-manufactured and may have self-gratification undergirding them. Meaning that other ‘lower’ forms of love can have selfish motivations driving them. Only agape is completely SELFLESS.
The Evidence of abiding faith in Jesus Christ is love ‘in deed and in truth.”
This love is the pinnacle of love expressed as ‘agape’ love – sacrificial love.
With this love there is a cost involved.
With this love there is a choice – an act of the will.
This ‘agape’ love must come from outside ourselves.
“By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down out lives for the brothers.” (1 John 3:16).
“For God so loved the world that he gave his only son…” (John 3:16).
There will be a cost…. there will be a sacrifice with this love.
by Lance Cashion | Apr 13, 2016 | Encouragement, Essays, Friendships, Serving, Uncategorized, Wisdom |
“The tide—so faithful and so sure—offers every man, sooner or later, the chance of escaping from the tiny cove of the Here to the broad bosom of the Everywhere, from the little bay of Self, to the infinite sea of Service; and they are life’s most enviable voyagers who, when the sublime opportunity presents itself, are all alive and all alert, waiting, with oars in rollocks, to make the most of it. It is the hour of destiny. The kingdom of heaven pours its wealth into the heart of the man, who is ready when that hour strikes. He was waiting: but only waiting for the tide!”
-F.W. Boreham, ‘Waiting for the Tide’, The Nest of Spears (London: The Epworth Press, 1927), 48-57.
There are tides in life as there are in the sea. We need only to wait for them. One cannot rush the ocean’s tides, neither can rush the tides of life. I cannot face a beautiful sunrise, look at my watch and command the sun to hurry up. The sun doesn’t respond to such a foolish thing.
In all manner of life, there come opportunities. Whether in love, life or death; life has all manner of tides. When the tide comes in, there is abundant opportunity. However, in order to make the most of it, we must take our eyes off ourselves and place them on others. The farmer enjoys the harvest by waiting for the season to arrive as the fisherman waits for the tide.
True wealth is not found in the “little bay of Self”. The real treasure of life is discovered and enjoyed in the “infinite sea of Service.” Making the most of life is about being ready and waiting for the tide. We must be ready when the tide comes by taking our eyes off of ourselves and looking toward others. In serving, we find infinite possibilities to express love and kindness. Jesus said he came to serve. He opened the door and we can follow his lead into a universe of overwhelming need knowing we cannot meet the insurmountable need alone. Go to where there is need and serve. There is a voyage ahead for anyone willing. Are you ready?
