Make Fathers Great Again

by | Nov 18, 2020 | Culture, Family, Fatherhood, God, Parenting, Wisdom, Worldview

Make Fathers Great Again

Fathers, it is time to stand up and step up. Cultures and societies collapse into ruin without us.

When you look around, what do you see?

You’ll see families, neighborhoods and communities falling apart and dysfunction. If you can’t see that, you need to drive to the other side of town or visit a prison and talk to inmates about their fathers. But even in affluent families, fathers are missing. Career or another diversion gobbles up his time.

It’s time to reclaim, redeem and restore authentic fatherhood. And, if someone has a problem with that (someone will), they can go pound sand. This quest is far too important to allow a bunch of slack-jawed gawkers to sideline our mission with their name-calling and whining. You have more important things to do and they are idiots.

A man can endure many things, but he cannot bear a crushed spirit.

If we do not reclaim fatherhood, there is no future – other than societal and cultural breakdown.

I’d like to commend to you a very important podcast from Breakpoint. It will inform, encourage and challenge you. For those who don’t have a father, we need to become a father-figure. To those who think they’ve failed as a father, it’s never too late to become the father God has called you to be – it’s about reclaiming, redeeming and restoring Fatherhood.

John Stonestreet interviews Dr. Anthony Bradley. “Dr. Bradley is mobilizing fathers. His vision is to inspire dads to engage their children. He believes that in building strong fathering habits, we can close prisons.”

Audio: Mobilizing Fathers to Close Prisons – Dr. Anthony Bradley (Friendship, wrestling, and the need for other dad-practices in culture)

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Facebook: All good things come to an end

by | Nov 15, 2020 | Culture, Personal Growth, Relationships, Social Media, Wisdom | 6 comments

All good things come to an end.

All good things decay unless they are reclaimed and restored. That’s not going to happen with Facebook. They are too far gone.

I want you as a part of my life without Facebook mediating or manipulating our relationship.

I opened a Facebook account in January of 2007. It was a fun way to connect with family and friends all over the world. Nearly fourteen years later, the experience is completely different – it’s almost entirely negative.

I login to see what is happening and log out asking myself why I put myself through the Facebook psychological meat grinder.

A few years ago, Facebook decided to race to the bottom of the human brainstem and manipulate people. I will not be manipulated. AND I don’t like seeing my friends manipulated.

Admittedly, daily dopamine hits are a difficult addiction to break. But, so were drugs and alcohol.

Dumpster fires are hard NOT to watch – particularly when people are throwing huge amounts of fuel on them.

Facebook has turned into a relational dumpster fire.  People have said things on Facebook that ended friendships that began before Facebook crossed Mark Zuckerberg’s mind. Some of those friendships were formed before Zuckerberg was born and were ended on his platform. He (and others) decided to run a social experiment and make some loot. I’ll champion anyone’s right to build a business and create legitimate profits providing goods and services. The problem is the once ‘good Facebook’ transformed into a cruel Mr. Hyde… or maybe more like Nurse Ratched.

There is something fundamentally flawed with the Facebook business model. As I’ve written about Google, the two tech titans share many of the same tactics and strategies. Neither platform is friendly or pro-user. They both manipulate and use people for profit and power.

While I will not blame societal breakdowns totally on the world’s largest social media platform, I will say Facebook has contributed to the problem. What is most troubling is they profit off the dumpster fire not caring that the people involved are image-bearers and have value (regardless of their views).

So, I’ve decided to step away from Facebook. I don’t have any plans to move to another platform. The biggest challenge will be staying connected with many friends and a acquaintances from the platform.

I’m going to allow a few days to pass before stepping away to connect with anyone who wants to stay connected off the platform.

I’m also going back to good old fashioned face-to-face meetings, phone calls and a Zoom meeting here and there. I’ll be focusing on my work, a couple big projects and writing. Feel free to visit and connect.

As I said at the outset, I want you to be a part of my life without Facebook mediating or manipulating our relationship.

Perhaps our paths will cross again. You can contact me here.

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Five Enemies of Unity

by | Sep 23, 2020 | Christianity, Culture, Education, Encouragement, Leadership, Personal Growth, Productivity, Relationships, Wisdom

Five Enemies of Unity - What are you doing to protect unity?

In 2009, Kathryn and I had the privilege to spend a week with Dave Ramsey and his team in Cancun Mexico.

We joined about a couple dozen business leaders and their spouses. All of us were striving to grow and/or improve our organizations by developing our personal leadership. Today this program is called “EntreLeadership” (Master Series) and thousands attend every year. Dave’s book by the same name has sold millions of copies and the podcast has gained a massive following (shout out to my pal Dan Tardy).

It is cool to look back and see that we got to participate in a small but powerful begining. Today EntreLeadership has grown as a brand in its own right and continues to have an impact on businesses, nonprofits and churches.

It’s been over 10 years since we were in Cancun with Dave and team. I think it’s time to revisit lessons learned, how I applied them and test their relevance today.

Unity is always on the forefront of good leadership.

Let’s talk about what Dave Ramsey refers to as the “Five Enemies of Unity”. Every organization has a culture. The culture can be healthy and life-giving or toxic and deadly. A good leader will strive to create and cultivate the former and defend against the latter.

Anyone who has a lawn or a garden knows that it requires watering, weeding and maintenance. Left unattended, a beautiful lawn or garden will become overgrown with weeds and overrun with pests in no time.  The same goes for the culture in an organization; be it a company, church, nonprofit or your family. A leader must be vigilant in building and maintaining unity.  A leader must wake up and fight the enemies of unity like a gardener fights weeds and pests – all the while cultivating unity.  It’s a big job!  I’d argue that its the most important job of the leader.

Unity is powerful. Unity is biblical.

Christian unity is good, beautiful and true as it demonstrates the fullness of the body working together.

“I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit—just as you were called to the one hope that belongs to your call— one Lord, one faith, one baptism…” – Ephesians 4:1-6

A football team does not win the Super Bowl by accident. Individuals may stand out, but ultimately unity is behind the victory.

You may know there are some things you can do to create unity. There are thousands of ‘team building’ programs that can help establish unity. But, what are you doing to protect your organization’s unity?

What about unity in the church?

What about unity in your family?

Below are the Five Enemies of Unity.

1. Gossip
2. Poor communications
3. Unresolved conflict (disagreements)
4. Lack of shared purpose
5. Sanctioned incompetence

Read Dave Ramsey’s quick explanations for each of the 5 Enemies of Unity

Below Dave talks bluntly about gossip… Enjoy!

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Reconciliation: What do you mean by that?

Reconciliation: What do you mean by that?

by | Jun 17, 2020 | Apologetics, Culture, Education, God, Jesus Christ, Reconciliation, Relationships, Theology, Wisdom, Worldview | 2 comments

The word and concept of ‘Reconciliation’ is getting thrown around quite a bit right now. One must understand that ‘reconciliation’ means different things to different people. That is why it is important to define terms up front in a conversation. The best way to get people to define their terms is to ask the question; “What do you mean by that?”

John Stonestreet likes to say, “People are using the same words but different dictionaries.” In other words, the same word may mean different things to different people.  If you are using the same words but different dictionaries, you and the other person are having two completely parallel conversations.  You are basically talking about two completely different things. You will reach two completely different conclusions. This is frustrating and a waste of time. Not to mention, it can create conflict or exacerbate tensions.

I’m not going to provide multiple nuanced definitions of ‘reconciliation’ floating around the culture. I intend to focus on the Biblical definition of ‘reconciliation’.  By focusing on the real thing, it makes it easier to identify the fakes.

What is Reconciliation?

Reconciliation is defined: katallagē (Gk) – an exchange; restoration to favor (between God and man) – adjustment of a difference, restoration to favor. It is the restored relationship / favor between God and a repentant sinner who places his/her trust in Jesus Christ’s atoning death on the cross and His resurrection.

In terms of western culture, reconciliation is a cultural artifact from a Judeo-Christian heritage. No other worldview offers the concept of reconciliation in the way in which we know it today. Even as we sometimes misunderstand or misapply it, reconciliation is a distinctly biblical concept found in the New Testament in particular.

Many (not all) well-meaning Christ-followers who love the Lord have a disordered concept of ‘reconciliation.’ I confess, I have adopted a disordered view in the past. As Christians, we know that “iron sharpens iron”. Therefore, we must be personally vigilant and point each other back to scripture frequently. Words (and their definitions) matter because they shape reality and give meaning to the world around us.

What is Reconciliation for?

(what is the purpose of reconciliation?)

Lets’ begin at the beginning!

1. In the beginning God created all things including human beings (who were made in His image). God said it was “very good.” Humans lived in perfect harmony with God.

2. The Bible states that because of sin our relationship with God is broken (referred to as ‘The Fall’ in Genesis 3). We are born into sin, under God’s judgement and wrath.

3. Because God is Holy and perfectly good, we cannot restore that relationship on our own. There is nothing we can do – no number of good deeds can save us. We need an outside agent to reconcile us with our Creator. We need a Savior.

4. Jesus Christ took our sin upon himself and died on a Roman cross innocent. When he rose from the grave, Jesus reconciled sinful man to a holy and perfect God. He essentially made a path where one did not exist.

5. When a man or woman believes and trusts in the finished work of Christ, he or she is the reconciled with God – the formerly broken relationship is restored. The Bible refers to this as the ‘new of life’ and the condemnation of sin is removed forever.

Therefore, Biblical Reconciliation is primarily a vertical process and relationship between an individual and God mediated through Jesus Christ. All authentic and redeeming qualities of reconciliation flow from this vertical relationship with God as the source. There is NO other source of reconciliation. God is it.

For instance, if I am not reconciled with God first, there is no way I can be reconciled with anyone else. This is a spiritual reality. Furthermore, the other person must be reconciled with God before he/she can be reconciled with me. Nowhere in the Bible will you find a doctrine that teaches that horizontal reconciliation (man to man) is a viable primary option. It is always vertical (man to God – through Christ).

In the absence or rejection of reconciliation with God, all you have is manmade acquiescence or genuflection to another’s power, coercion or emotion. From a Biblical perspective, I argue this is a counterfeit ‘reconciliation’. Why?

Without Christ, we are totally incapable of Christ-exalting good (John Piper). As Paul says in Romans 7:18, “Nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh.” In John 15:4 Jesus states, “apart from me you can do nothing.”

Every individual Christ-follower is challenged personally with two questions;

1. Do I believe what the Bible says?
2. Am I willing to live as the Bible instructs and commands?

Disclosure: I am guilty of everything I’m about to say because I’m a sinner too. So, the following is a message for me to hear as well.

Well-meaning Christians who love the Lord seem to turn to manmade / man-centered secular concepts of ‘reconciliation’. Why?

First, while the Bible remains the best-selling book in history, the bible is the least read, studied or understood. Basically, well-meaning Christians don’t know their Bibles. Therefore, they misunderstand and misapply the Gospel of the Kingdom to life and culture.

Second, because the Bible is not viewed as sacred scripture and authoritative but more of a “moral manual.” So, people pick and choose what verses they like in order to validate or support their position or sin patterns. When we treat the bible as a cafeteria-style moral manual, we conveniently sidestep hard truths, conviction, repentance and healthy realignment with God’s Word**

Third, while many well-meaning Christians will claim to believe the bible, their worldview betrays their claims. In other words, how we live our lives reveals what we believe. Many Christians today live as secular humanists or functional atheists without realizing it.

Finally, making manmade or man-centered (horizontal) ‘reconciliation’ primary feeds man’s pride and ego. In addition it gives him a psychological escape hatch from sin. This stems from the sinful trait of self-determinism. In my estimation, man-centered reconciliation reveals our idolatry and fear of man rather than a fear of God.

Biblical Reconciliation begins with our realizing and admitting our sin against God

Psalm 51:4 states the following from an individual perspective, Speaking to God the Psalmist cries, “Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight…” We sin against God first.

Romans 3:23 encompasses ALL humans who ever lived, “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.”

Basically, God has put ALL human beings on notice regarding sin. We are all born in the same sinking ship. Thank God, he sent Jesus to save us.

Does the bible say, “Be reconciled to the world?”  Nope, the Bible says the following;

“God was reconciling the world to Himself in Christ, not counting men’s trespasses against them. And He has committed to us the message of reconciliation. Therefore we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God were making His appeal through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ: Be reconciled to God.…”

The Great Commission of Christ’s church is to call the world to be reconciled with God, not to call the world to be reconciled with the world. There will be no reconciling the world to the world without God. That is a biblical impossibility and antithetical to the Gospel.

Jesus summed up the Ten Commandments and 613 Jewish laws in two commands.

“You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” – Matthew 22:37-39

Relationship with God is primary and is the post on which the second hangs. Our message to the world is ‘be reconciled with God!”

In conclusion, it is vitally important to define our terms up front in a conversation. A good way to do that is to ask a question like, what do you mean by that (reconciliation)? As I have pointed out, the Christian must be focused on the primary work of reconciling the lost with God through the death, burial and resurrection of Jesus Christ. We also love our neighbors and even enemies as ourselves (our witness). Biblical reconciliation is quite different from worldly reconciliation… The results are quite different as well.

Live your life the way in which you were saved – by grace through faith in Jesus Christ.

** [Section Note] When a Christ-follower is out of line with God’s Word, it grieves the Holy Spirit. Therefore, the believer feels conviction and frustration. The Holy Spirit ceases working through the believer and begins to bring conviction in order to bring about repentance and realignment with God’s Word. This is why I believe that Christians who dabble in non-biblical versions of reconciliation end up feeling frustrated and confused when the world’s version just simply does not work (ever). Keep at it long enough and it will have a callousing effect on the heart and you risk losing the sensitivity to sin – that can lead to backsliding. Do not grieve the Holy Spirit by following worldly philosophies or patterns of living (see Eph. 4:17-32)

Read previous post: “Is Virtue Signaling Sinful?”
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Are your donations causing supply chain disruptions in neighborhood stores?

Are your donations causing supply chain disruptions in neighborhood stores?

by | Apr 17, 2020 | COVID-19, Education, Generosity, Stewardship | 3 comments

Donations can cause supply chain disruptions in neighborhood stores

This is a situation where good intentions can unintentionally cause problems in a local community. What are the unintended consequences of an act of goodwill?

As a local community pastor, I probably receive 2-3 emails or calls per day from nonprofits and agencies asking for supply donations from folks in the community. These requests encompass everything from food, water, PPE, hand sanitizer, diapers, formula, TOILET PAPER, etc. I know many of you receive the same type of requests.

We all want to help! We all NEED to help in some way. However, we need to think through how to help the RIGHT way.

Under normal conditions (non-COVID-19), local stores and supermarkets are very well stocked with essential items. When you or I go to the store, we can buy as much as we need in the full knowledge that what we take off the shelf will be replaced within hours.

You’ve probably noticed the phrase ‘Supply Chain’ mentioned more and more by the media and government officials. The supply chain starts where a product is sourced like a farm or manufacturer. Those goods make their way to distribution centers and then onto the shelves of neighborhood stores where you and I can purchase them.

The COVID-19 Crisis changed everything.

COVID-19 created a panic, which caused people to purchase more essential items and thus putting stress on the supply chain.

What does all this have to do with nonprofits and agencies asking me and you to donate essential items?

Well, unless you and I have a surplus of essential items in our homes to donate, we typically go to our local store to purchase those items. Then we donate them to the organization that is requesting them. While the intention is good and noble, there are unintended consequences.

This can cause supply disruptions in neighborhood stores.

When I go to my local neighborhood store to buy additional items to donate to an agency in need, I am taking those essential items off the shelf at a time when supply chains are stretched thin. Restocking those items may take days rather than hours depending on the item and location of the store.

There are those in our neighborhoods who depend on the availability of essential items in local stores. The elderly couple on fixed income may be able to go to the store once per week to purchase essential items. If I purchase items before they do with the intent of donating them to another area of need in my community, I’ve unintentionally created a problem – a disruption for that elderly couple. They must go without or ask for help.

Again, we’re all trying to help. But we need to be thoughtful of how we help and source supplies in this current COVID-19 crisis because supply chains are crucial on a micro-level.

How can we help the right way? I have a couple ideas.

1. If you want to donate essential items, give from your stockpile first instead of going to your local store. Even a few cans of food, a box of formula, etc can go a long way to helping a family in need.

2. If you do purchase from a local store, limit your purchase to a couple items to donate. Make sure to leave something on the shelves for others in your community.

3. Call your local store manager and ask them when they restock and time your visit. Again, limit your purchases.

4. Instead of donating essential items, ask the nonprofit or agency if you can donate money. Encourage them to source their needs at the distributor level instead of the neighborhood level. Big box stores and grocers will often help nonprofits source much needed items.

5. Help your community nonprofits connect with larger nonprofits and community resources that have access to distributors higher up the supply chain. Organizations like the United Way, Salvation Army and local food banks have greater supply chain access. Collaboration is everything.  Help organizations work together to solve problems and ensure supplies get to the front lines the right way while preserving supplies in neighborhoods.

I hope this is helpful in helping you think through how we can avoid causing disruptions in local supply chains. Your elderly and immune-compromised neighbors with benefit from thoughtful giving.

Read previous post: A Church Without Walls – Serving Others
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