by Lance Cashion | Feb 5, 2014 | Education, Goal Setting, God, Lance's Philosophy, Personal Growth, Productivity, Trending Topics, Uncategorized, Wisdom
In the early 1980s, in 2nd grade, I was diagnosed with a learning disability called Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD). Now its called Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder (ADHD). School work was a problem for me. I loved learning but struggled academically, except in art and music. Throughout my years in school, the refrain from my instructors, tutors, coaches and professors was always the same, “Lance would make a great student (or athlete), if he just applied himself.” The not-so-nice adults labeled me lazy, uncaring, or indifferent.
Weird Little Kids
In elementary school, I remember having to leave lunch with my friends to go to the nurse’s office to take my medication. I’d wait in line with a handful of other ‘weird’ little kids for a little yellow pill. By the time I would get back to the classroom, lunch was over. To make things worse, while my class was at recess, I was sent a tutor. From inside her tiny shoebox office with no windows, I could hear my classmates on the playground just outside the door. (This is just wrong in so many ways). After school, I was usually shuttled to more tutors.
I remember someone mentioning I may have a mild case of dyslexia as well. Knowing my struggles with reading and writing, I have a sneaking suspicion that I still struggle with it. I am a very slow reader and I write even slower.
Ms. Wizard’s plan to fix me
Here’s one that will bake your noodle. I have always been left-handed. My 2nd grade teacher (I’ll call her Ms. Wizard) had a plan to ‘fix’ me. So, Ms. Wizard forced me to write with my right hand. She would say things like, “Lance is really struggling to keep up with writing assignments.” I’m sorry Ms. Wizard, you are an idiot. What did you expect? You are making me write with the wrong hand! Luckily, I survived 2nd grade with my left hand intact. (I have forgiven her ignorance-based ‘help’). Thank you for letting me vent… I feel better.
The Power of ADHD
What were we talking about? Oh, yeah. The power of ADHD can be harnessed. Over the years, I knew I loved to learn but rarely accomplished tasks on time or reached my goals. My biggest struggle has not been starting a task. I love starting new things, I have ADHD, duh. I struggle with completing tasks, particularly projects that require long periods of focused attention and detail.
This is what I’ve learned and if you have ADHD you must know. We have a special ability or super-power (for helping children understand). The intense focus within our limited attention span is extremely powerful. The key is learning to harness these bursts of super-human focus.
BTW, If you have ADHD and are still reading this, congrats because I’ve already taken two breaks.
How can you harness the power of ADHD?
- Recognize and admit that you are different (that is a good thing)
- Understand that outliers like you and me learn differently
- You have a gift. I have come to absolutely believe that ADD/ADHD and Dyslexia are gifts NOT disabilities
- Your approach to problem solving will be unique and effective
- Don’t listen to fools (experts) tell you that you need ‘fixing’
- Set bite-sized goals (measurable, time limit, specific, personalized and in writing)
- Keep a to-do list with the most important task on top (knock it out first)
- Buy a stop-watch with a timer
15 minute intervals can save you 15 hours per week
I work in 15 minute recurring intervals. When I begin a task, I set my watch timer for 15 minutes and get going. My watch beeps at the end of 15 minutes. If I’m not working on the same task I began 15 minutes ago, I get back on track. This keeps me from drifting into something else like debating people on Facebook, chasing squirrels, etc.
After two intervals (30 minutes), I try to get up and do something completely unrelated to the task. I may stretch, read, get some water, go outside to get some air or play with my children. My little break may take 5 to 10 minutes. But, never more than 15 minutes because my timer goes off telling my that it’s time to get back to the task.
I’ve learned that my attention span is about 15 minutes but my focus is extremely intense during that time. I just need some walls to bounce off of to keep things moving forward.
Experiment and have fun
All I can say is that this works for me. It may not work for you. But, its worth trying, right? Anything is better than that sinking feeling that you wasted time, failed at accomplishing something important or let someone down. Either way, trying this for a few days will teach you something about yourself and the value of time.
One size doesn’t fill all
If your child had been diagnosed with a ‘learning disability’ it simply means they do not learn the same as others in our massive institutionalized, one-size-fits-all education system. Outliers are the world-changers. Average people striving to be average in a below-average system never change anything. The greatest artists, scientists and entrepreneurs in history probably had ADD/ADHD or something else. When you learn differently, you see the world differently! Your solutions to problems will be different. Please see it as a gift. Harness it and encourage others to do the same.
God blessed me with ADHD. He allowed me to wrestle with it until I accepted it and learned to harness it.
Wait, there goes a squirrel…….!
by Lance Cashion | Jan 29, 2014 | Culture, Lance's Philosophy, News, Personal Growth, Philosophy, Trending Topics, Uncategorized, Wisdom, Worldview
Back in the 1990’s Al Franken did some of his best work on Saturday Night Live as Stuart Smalley. The skit was called ‘Daily Affirmations’ by Stuart Smalley. They were truly hilarious bits. His tag line “Because I’m good enough, I’m smart enough and dogonit, people like me.” made its way into daily conversations and jokes.
I know a guy…
In New York City, you can find a guy, who knows this dude who sells fake Rolexes out of his car in an alley. They look like the real thing. It takes an expert to tell a counterfeit from the real thing. For $50 bucks, you can wear a shiny Rolex (albeit fake) to impress people you don’t even know and risk getting mugged. But, I digress. (more…)
by Lance Cashion | Jan 23, 2014 | Culture, Education, Family, Friendships, Lance's Philosophy, Leadership, News, Personal Growth, Relationships, Uncategorized, Wisdom
Our small group met last night and one struggle that we all seem to share is saying ‘no’. We live in a culture that loves to say ‘yes’ to pretty much everything. So, saying ‘no’ in a ‘yes’ culture is tough. In fact, there is a guilt attached to saying ‘no’.
Truth be told, I’ve had to work to change my default response to a request from ‘yes’ to ‘no’. My default has always been ‘yes’. I’ve learned that ‘yes’ can get me into trouble. I continue to struggle with it. I want to please others. To much ‘yes’ ends up disappointing everyone.
When I say ‘yes’ to one thing, I’m saying ‘no’ to another.
“You can say no with respect, you can say no promptly and you can say no with a lead to someone who might say yes. But just saying yes because you can’t bear the short-term pain of saying no is not going to help you do the work. Saying no to loud people gives you the resources to say yes to important opportunities.” – Seth Godin
Let me give you a quick example. If someone asks me to help or volunteer for a cause and I say ‘yes’, I have now moved a portion of my time and energy away from one area of my life and committed it to another.
Understanding the limitations that time places on our lives is important in understanding why we need to say ‘no’.
‘No’ protects the most important relationships and priorities in your life. ‘No’ allows you to do what is important. Say ‘no’ and reaffirm the relationship. Move on.
Below are some links that may help you say ‘no’. Remember, this will take practice.
MICHAEL HYATT:
SETH GODIN:
DAVE RAMSEY:
JESUS CHRIST:
“Let what you say be simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’; anything more than this comes from evil.” (Matthew 5:37)
Do you have trouble saying ‘no’?
by Lance Cashion | Jan 21, 2014 | Culture, Education, God, Jesus Christ, Lance's Philosophy, Leadership, News, Personal Growth, Philosophy, Relationships, Trending Topics, Wisdom
Last Sunday morning, I was preparing to speak before a group of couple hundred people at our church. The main focus of my talk was about effectively communicating truth gracefully in a sometimes hostile environment. In the distraction caused by nervousness and excitement, something was missing. Had I forgotten something?
What unifies grace and truth?
I felt my outline was lack-luster and I decided to take a break. I happened to reach for a book that a mentor of mine had given me last year entitled “Incarnate Leadership” by Bill Robinson. I had previously read about half of the book but, it remained unfinished for several months.
Upon opening it, I landed on page 80 which is a chapter called ‘Living in Grace and Truth’. As I read, I found the missing component for my talk. Somehow in the action of preparing my talk, I had lost of the cement that unites grace and truth. I had forgotten the needs of the audience. I was given a gentle reminder 😉
Below is a quote from Bill Robinson’s book. I weaved it into my talk later that day. With his help, I was able to hit the target. I don’t know you Dr. Robinson, but thank you, sir.
“Grace and truth need each other. Grace ceases to be grace if it lacks truth. And truth loses its power if it lacks grace. Grace without truth sanctions and perpetuates unwanted actions.” He goes on to draw this out like a good teacher;
Bill’s Guidelines ‘for people who want to pummel me with the truth’:
- I will have a hard time hearing the truth if I am busy defending myself.
- I will have a hard time identifying truth if the assault feels like it’s more for your good than for mine.
- I am not capable of accepting truth from you if the attack feels personal.
- I will stop thinking about truth if you make claims about my motives. Only I know my motives – and I would rather you ask me what they were than tell me what you think they are.
Truth without grace is harsh, usually self-centered, and un-Christlike. Grace without truth is deceptively permissive, often lazy and equally un-Christlike. Good leaders (that includes you and me) communicate both grace and truth in love. Loving those we lead answers the question, ‘Should I show grace or should I tell the truth?’ Both. Love unites grace and truth.”
If you have been to a wedding, you’ve probably heard the following passage from the Bible. Love rejoices with what? (see below):
“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the TRUTH.
So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.” (1 Cor 13:4-5,13)
Our culture says truth is offensive and truth is relative. We find ourselves pursuing comfort over truth. And here we are…
If you love someone, then speak truth with grace… Always in love.
Source: Quotation taken from ‘Incarnate Leadership‘ by Bill Robinson
by Lance Cashion | Jan 7, 2014 | Culture, God, Lance's Philosophy, News, Personal Growth, Philosophy, Trending Topics, Uncategorized, Wisdom |
What is Greed?
Why do people misunderstand greed?
What feeds greed?
How can we stop feeding greed?
Many fall into the trap of quantifying greed. John Doe has a million dollars, therefore he is greedy. This is problematic and a complete misapplication of the definition of what it means to be ‘greedy’. Turn it around. Jane Doe is on welfare, therefore she is not greedy. This is called a false premise. Some make the mistake of taking it further by asserting that because some millionaires are greedy ‘all millionaires must be greedy’. It’s like saying, “You drive a red car, red must be your favorite color!”
Webster’s defines ‘Greed’ as a selfish (excessive) desire to have more of something.
Greed is a ‘why’ not ‘what’.
Look at the definition of greed and lets render the phrase ‘selfish desire‘.
A desire is a deep hunger, wanting or motivation. Some desires are beneficial and others are destructive. At the core of a desire is a motivation that emanates from what we believe about ourselves in relationship to the world around us. Desire usually manifests itself in a type of behavior or perhaps a philosophy of living.
A Selfish person does not consider others and engages in self-serving and self-seeking behavior. In fact, by definition selfish excludes everyone but one’s self and ones own interests. In addition, ‘selfish’ is a description of a person, action or motive that lacks consideration of others. It always conveys negative connotation.
‘Those people’ are greedy!
I hear arguments based on false premises every day. Corporations are greedy. The government is greedy. Rich people are greedy. Folks on welfare are greedy.
The Bottom Line: People are greedy!
Not all people are greedy all the time. But, we have a bent toward selfishness and greed. When you apply ‘greed’ to a non-human entity or quantify ‘greed’ with a numeric value, you may find yourself in a trap. You have smuggled in a false premise. Some activities attract greedy people. However, just because someone is involved in an activity or has a certain thing, does not mean they are greedy.
So what feeds greed?
Greed does. Selfish desires are a cycle that lead to an unfulfilled life. Greed is based in a ‘self-serving’ desire that essentially seeks to serve itself. Greed feeds more greed and discontent.
The Heart:
At it’s core, greed is a heart and thus, a spiritual issue. This explains why I believe greed is based in ‘why’ not ‘what’. The motivations and desires of the heart manifest in behavior. When we truly understand greed, we turn from pointing at others to find we are actually pointing to ourselves.
How do I fight my own greed?
- I must recognize my own selfishness.
- I find ways to live with open hands. You don’t have to be rich to be generous.
- I list things for which I am thankful. I don’t have to possess a bunch of stuff to be thankful.
- I stop feeding greed.
When I find greed or selfishness creeping into my life, I rinse and repeat the steps above.
It’s not wrong to want good for yourself (resources, health, etc). However, it is ‘why’ we want certain things that reveal the motives of our hearts.
We can change our ‘selfish’ motives by replacing them with selfless or sacrificial motives.
Here are some verses from the Bible that even a non-Christian can appreciate:
“We who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak and not to please ourselves. Each of us should please his neighbor for his good, to build him up.” – Romans 15:1-2
“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.” -Philippians 2:4
“Turn my heart toward your statutes and not toward selfish gain.” – Psalm 119:36
“One gives freely, yet grows all the richer; another withholds what he should give, and only suffers want.” -Prov 11:24
“Take care, and be on your guard against all covetousness, for one’s life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions.” -Lk 12:15
Good and Honor come to those who are generous:
“He has scattered abroad his gifts to the poor, his righteousness endures forever; his horn will be lifted up in honor.” – Psalm 112:9
What about you?
by Lance Cashion | Dec 31, 2013 | Encouragement, Goal Setting, Lance's Philosophy, Personal Growth, Productivity, Trending Topics, Uncategorized
Is this what each new year boils down to?
A string of big dreams, followed by exhaustive exuberance, promising promises and exciting launches that all fizzle into discontent, failure or frustration?
Stop making New Years Resolutions! I stopped making ‘New Years Resolutions’ several years ago. I’ve found resolutions are a great way to become completely frustrated and discontent by mid-February.
Do you remember the story of the Tortoise and the Hare? Who wins?
Big goals are not achieved overnight. We reach our destination by placing one foot in front of the other, one day at a time in the right direction. It is the determined march every day through the pain and resistance. It is a marathon, not a 5k.
Don’t get distracted
The key is not to get distracted by the mob of over-excited yay-hoos running around in circles. Let them buy gym memberships, vitamins, crash diets, and self-help books as they begin on their frantic run down the road to Fail-ville.
Think Strategically: A successful strategist wins the war in his mind before setting foot on the battlefield.
This means he plans his steps, counts the cost and defines victory.
Don’t Give in to hysteria: Instant gratification plays a huge role in the New Years Resolution mania. We want to get started and get done as quickly as possible. We get a lot of pleasure from beginning new things. Don’t give in to starting something for the sake of starting. A lot of people start a marathon with great intentions. But, they never finish.
Set your Mind: Start thinking and praying about a big goal for yourself and what it will be like when you achieve it. One of the biggest problems with New Years Resolutions is the we unconsciously allow the mob to influence what our real goal should be. We may end up pursuing a goal we don’t own because we got caught up in the hype. Let the hype pass. Remember, you are being intentional and strategic.
Life Has a Time Limit: Whatever your goal, make sure it is significant. Please don’t set a goal like getting the best score on a video game or watching every episode of Downton Abby. You only have so much time in this life. You are a heart-beat away from eternity. Make it count! If you can set a goal that impacts others, go for it. Maybe you want to volunteer once a month for a year. Perhaps you want to run a marathon and thought it would be impossible?
Set a Date: Pick a time in mid-February, go to a quiet place with a pen, paper and calendar. Forget resolutions, its time to settle on the GOAL or building a habit. FYI – I set my goals for the year in the beginning days of March.
- What is the one thing you would do if you couldn’t fail?
- What would you do if you weren’t afraid?
Goals Must: be specific, be measurable, be in writing, have a deadline, and you must OWN them (relevant to your life).
While everyone around you is exhausted and on the verge of giving up, you will be focused and strategically pursuing your goal one step at a time every day.
Enjoy the journey!
“The heart of man plans his way, but the LORD establishes his steps.” (Prov 16:9)
Edited and Updated: 12-31-2015
